Mother blames her 17-year-old daughter for ruining her marriage when daughter refuses to let stepfather act like her real dad, he leaves the two of them: 'I'm not gonna wait around for you to feel differently at 40'

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Sep 26, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

The relationship between a mother and her daughter can be like a fairytale, or it could be a nightmare. It's usually complicated, unless you're one of those rare mother-daughter bonds where they're more like best friends than anything else. It's common for a mother and daughter to have their fair share of issues. And we're all familiar with the evil archetypes of mothers, such as the jealous stepmother, the domineering mother-in-law, or the just plain-old bad mother. In the story here, the protagonist is a teenage girl who lost her father when she was young. Her mother remarried, and she's never seen her stepfather as hers. Even though he's done a lot for her, she can't see him as her real dad. This isn't just offensive to him, he even uses it against his wife. 

He can't have biological children of his own, so he's reliant on his wife's child. He won't wait around for her to love him, so he goes off to be with someone who will. 

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  • 01

    AITA for ruining my mom's marriage?

    Mother and daughter having an argument
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My mom blames me for her husband filing for divorce. They got married when I (17f) was 10.
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  • 03
    He wanted kids but mom couldn't have more so he decided he would be fine being my dad. Only
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  • 04
    I never saw or accepted him as my dad. I had a dad and he d d. But he was still my dad. Not
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  • 05
    someone who married my mom when I was 10. We got along okay. It disappointed him
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  • 06
    whenever I said no to him adopting me or when I used his first name instead of calling him dad.
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  • 07
    He called me his daughter and I hated it but never said anything. So he kept calling me his and I'd
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  • 08
    always correct people calling him my dad. I thought that would tell him nothing was changing on my
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  • 09
    side. But a few months ago for school I did a project for art on my parents and I did mom and
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  • 10
    dad. It wasn't supposed to be seen by anyone else and didn't think it would turn into
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  • 11
    breakdown but my teacher emailed it to my mom and he saw it too. She was saying how
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  • 12
    talented I was and she thought mom should encourage my art more.
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  • 13
    But seeing that was like the final straw for him. He told mom he couldn't live without being a
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  • 14
    Divorce papers
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    parent and he thought he could be mine but I had never given him that chance. He said he
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    wasn't going to wait around for me to maybe feel different at 40. He said being 51 he could still
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  • 17
    find a woman who'll give him kids of his own and he left mom and filed for divorce. When he was
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  • 18
    going he told me he hoped I'd regret rejecting him some day because I had no idea how good I could've had it.
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  • 19
    Ever since my mom has blamed me. She told me I needed to make it up to him so he wouldn't go through with the divorce but I
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  • 20
    told her I wasn't lying to get him back. She said he's been around almost as long as dad was in my
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  • 21
    life and he would've been around to see me get married and give my future kids a grandpa and now there's nobody. She asked
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  • 22
    Mother upset with daughter
    via studioroman / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 23
    me who I'd call my father figure now. I told her I never called him my father figure and it was always my grandpas who got the title.
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  • 24
    Mom said the fact I'd fight her after ruining her marriage showed how little I care about her. I told her I love her and it's why I tried
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  • 25
    to get along with him. I told her it's not like I wanted someone else when dad did but I knew she did so I accepted him into the
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  • 26
    household but I would never let someone be my dad so they'd be her husband. She claimed I was
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  • 27
    making excuses and should feel more shame for ruining such a good thing. AITA?
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  • 28
    Go-Mellistic If the success of their marriage relied on the feelings of a 3rd person, especially a child, it was never going to last. That is not a solid foundation.
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  • 29
    You did not ruin their marriage. They did. Stepdad wanted children and your
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  • 30
    mother couldn't give him children. They married anyway, despite this fundamental incompatibility.
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  • 31
    They have now finally recognized the incompatibility.
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  • 32
    It has nothing to do with you, you are just easier to blame. If they didn't blame you, they would need to
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  • 33
    accept that they never should have married and it is hard to admit that.
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  • 34
    I am sorry they are putting you in this position but it is not your fault. NTA
    via u/Go-Mellistic

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